Month: January 2026

  • The Pause is Not the End

    Court is paused.There is a continuance. That sounds heavy. It sounds ominous. It sounds like something to fear. But strangely—unexpectedly—I am calm. I can’t share my testimony. I won’t. Not because I’m hiding anything, but because the process matters, and the court is paused, not finished. What I can share is what it feels like…

  • If I Could Love That Hard in the Wrong Place

    “To love at all is to be vulnerable.”— C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves I’ve looked back at it now—really looked.At how bad it was.At the different forms it took, the different ways it showed up. Some of the things are easy to name. You can see it when a mug smashes into the wall behind…

  • Nine Days Away: Waiting, Fate, and the Space Between

    Maya Angelou“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” I went to write this when it was ten days away.I started it — and then I didn’t finish.Now it’s nine.Time doesn’t feel linear right now. It feels fluid. Like in films where something disturbs time and everything ripples — a wave rising, slowing, hovering…

  • The Comfort Zone Isn’t Comfort — It’s Survival

    My brain was never designed for happiness.It was designed for survival. That’s why I still scan rooms.Why I choose corners when I can.Why I sit with my back to the wall. It’s why I still park my car facing down the driveway, angled away from the house — ready for a quick escape. Those instincts…