Children’s Rights

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📘 Children’s What They Really Are (And Where They Conflict with Parenting)

This page exists to validate your role as a safe parent. To inform you when your child tries to weaponize the term “rights.” To equip you when the courts are used as tools of control. And to remind you that:

“You are not a bad parent for making hard choices.”
— Adapted from Brené Brown

“You are not abusive for holding firm boundaries.”
— Inspired by Dr. Gabor Maté

“You are not alone.”
— From countless survivors and protective parents who’ve walked this road

When you’re parenting through trauma, divorce, or abuse, it’s critical to know exactly what your child’s legal rights are — and what they are not. In high-conflict custody situations, it’s common to hear statements like:

“You can’t take my phone away!”
“You can’t make me go to therapy!”
“I have rights, you know!”

Yes — children do have rights. But they are not unlimited, and those rights can often conflict directly with your legal duties as a parent.

This guide will help you understand:

  • ✅ What Canadian and Ontario law actually says children are entitled to
  • ❌ What they are not legally entitled to (no matter how loud they shout)
  • ⚖️ Where rights and responsibilities collide — especially in homes with abuse, alienation, or trauma
  • 🛡️ How to stand your ground when you’re accused of violating their “rights” for simply parenting

✅ What Rights Do Children Actually Have in Canada?

Children in Canada are protected by:

  • The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms
  • Ontario’s Child, Youth and Family Services Act (CYFSA)
  • The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC)

🔹 Legal Rights Include:

  • The right to life, liberty, and security of the person
  • The right to be free from abuse, neglect, and harm
  • The right to adequate food, clothing, and shelter
  • The right to education and medical care
  • The right to express views and participate in decisions (in age-appropriate ways)
  • The right to freedom of religion, culture, and identity
  • The right to privacy and confidentiality, especially in therapeutic settings

These are fundamental and protected — and parents are legally obligated to ensure these rights are met.

❌ What Children Are Not Entitled To

There is a common and harmful myth that children are entitled to whatever they want, particularly in cases of alienation or permissive parenting. Here’s the truth:

Children do not have the legal right to:

  • An iPad, iPhone, laptop, gaming system, or social media account
  • Internet access unless required for education
  • Junk food, candy, fast food, or brand-name items
  • Money, allowance, or luxury experiences
  • Refusing to do chores or obey house rules
  • Unlimited privacy in the family home

💬 “You don’t have the right to take my phone!”
✅ Yes, actually — you do.

These are parentally controlled privileges, not rights under the law.

⚖️ When Parental Duties and Children’s Rights Collide

Sometimes, the law creates impossible expectations. You’re responsible for making decisions in your child’s best interest — but you may lack the legal power to enforce them when your child resists or the other parent undermines you.

Here are the most common examples of legal conflict:

1. School Attendance

Your duty: Ensure your child attends school (Education Act of Ontario).
The reality: If your child refuses, you cannot physically force them to go without risking accusations of abuse.

Result:

  • You may be blamed for non-attendance.
  • The child may be influenced by the other parent who doesn’t value school.
  • Legal or school-based supports are often slow to intervene.

2. Therapy and Mental Health Support

Your duty: Secure help if your child is in emotional distress.
The reality: Children 12+ can refuse therapy. You also risk court backlash if the other parent isn’t consulted — even if they’re the source of the trauma.

3. Medical Consent and the Mature Minor Doctrine

Children under Ontario’s Health Care Consent Act can consent to or refuse medical treatment if they’re deemed “capable,” regardless of age.

This means:

  • A 14-year-old may legally refuse anxiety medication or trauma therapy.
  • You may be unable to override this even if it’s medically necessary.

4. Police or Crisis Intervention

If your child is suicidal, violent, or in emotional crisis:

  • Police cannot force mental health assessments without imminent risk or a court-issued Form 1 or Form 2.
  • On weekends, you may be legally powerless until Monday morning.

5. Technology, Privacy, and Discipline

You’re allowed to:

  • Limit or revoke devices
  • Monitor internet use
  • Set screen time limits
  • Restrict social media

But children may claim:

  • You’re “controlling,” “abusive,” or “violating their rights”

If the other parent supports this idea, it becomes a court weapon — despite the fact that you are fully within your rights.

🧩 Real-World Conflict: You Enroll Your Child in Therapy — and Get Blamed for It

Your child is showing clear signs of trauma. You:

  • Enroll them in a 20-week counselling program
  • Follow professional advice
  • Avoid contacting the other parent due to safety/legal restrictions

Then what happens?
You’re accused of:

  • Acting unilaterally
  • Alienating the child
  • “Pathologizing” normal behaviour

💬 “I didn’t get my child therapy to hurt the other parent. I got them therapy so they didn’t have to hurt alone.”
— Anonymous Protective Parent

🧠 Parental Scripts: What to Say When Your Child Pushes Back

Child: “You can’t take my phone. That’s a violation of my rights.”
Parent: “You have the right to be safe, loved, and cared for. But I have the responsibility to keep things balanced. Technology is a privilege — not a right.”

Child: “You can’t make me go to school!”
Parent: “I am required by law to ensure you attend school. That doesn’t mean dragging you out of bed. But it does mean working with your school and supports.”

Child: “You can’t make me go to therapy!”
Parent: “I can’t make you talk — but I will always offer you safe places to heal. I’ll keep trying, because I love you.”

🛡️ The Role of the Safe Parent

Being a safe parent means:

  • Holding boundaries — even when you’re tired
  • Acting with consistency — even when you’re scared
  • Providing structure — even when it’s not appreciated
  • Showing love — especially when it’s rejected

💬 “Rules are love with a backbone.”
— Inspired by Dr. Becky Kennedy

Even when your child is angry. Even when the court misunderstands. Even when the other parent paints you as the villain.

You are not failing. You are parenting.

🔗 Legal Resources (Ontario-Based)

✨ Final Words of Empowerment

“You are not overreacting by setting boundaries. You are protecting your child’s future.”
— Survivor Parent

“You didn’t make them need help — you just refused to look away.”
— Trauma-informed therapist

“You’re not raising a friend. You’re raising a future adult who will know what love looks like.”
— Parenting coach

You are not the storm. You are the shelter.

And the law, when understood and applied correctly, is supposed to protect the child — and the parent who dares to do the right thing even when it’s hard.