Tag: abuse

  • When Bail Means He Goes Home…. But We Don’t.

    Two men recently went before the court.One had no history. No long list of allegations. He was accused of breaching a no-contact order. Bail was denied. He went into custody.Another man was already facing multiple criminal charges. He had previously breached police conditions. He breached his bail again. He was arrested, held overnight, brought before…

  • When a Family Court Judge Invited My Rapist to Amend His Criminal Bail Conditions : How the System Betrayed Every Survivor

    How a family-court recommendation tried to erase my bail protections and forced me to relive the trauma the criminal system was meant to prevent. Many of you know from my previous posts that I am involved in ongoing court matters. My own criminal case goes to trial early next year, and two of my children…

  • Institutional Complicity and Systemic Harm: Silence Is Not Neutral

    This week I have been on a mission.I have witnessed too much abuse, too many people turning blind eyes, saying nothing because they “don’t want to get involved.” Because they “don’t want to take sides.” But here is the truth:If you don’t choose a side, you have already chosen his.Silence is not neutral. Silence condones.When…

  • When Systems Fail Our Children: A Mother’s View

    Yesterday was supposed to be a joyful milestone: my son’s first day back at school after the summer holidays. He had been bouncing with excitement, jumping up and down, thrilled to ride the bus and see his friends. For a child with some social interaction challenges who has been attending counselling during the summer, this…

  • Ready Isn’t a Feeling It is a Decision

    I read something the other day that’s been echoing in my mind ever since: “You’ll never feel ready because ready isn’t a feeling, it’s a decision.” It hit me because it’s true in ways I wish I’d known years ago. For so long, I thought I had to feel ready before I could act. I…

  • There Is No Compromise on Child Safety: Why I said NO

    Today, I was asked to trade my son for a piece of paper. Let me be more specific: my lawyer forwarded a message suggesting I should agree to give my ex-husband—who is currently facing criminal charges for child abuse, threats of death, and threats involving bodily harm—unrestricted access to our son every other weekend. In…

  • He used Everything : My Story of Coercive Control

    When I first made my police statement in January 2024, coercive control wasn’t even recognized as a standalone criminal offence in Canada. I shared everything I could about the abuse, the threats, the sexual assault. I thought I was telling the whole story. But in June 2024, Canada passed Bill C-332. Finally, coercive and controlling…

  • What I Wish I had Known Before Reporting Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence

    When I reported the my abusor, he was charged with sexual assault. But that was just a single sliver of the truth. It didn’t include the years of emotional torment, verbal degradation, financial control, psychological manipulation, technological surveillance, or the coercive control that ruled my life. And what still breaks me today is this: I…

  • The Breaking Point – When Survival Becomes a Decision

    People think the breaking point is loud. Dramatic. A suitcase thrown into a car, a door slammed, a final scream echoing down a hallway. But for most survivors of abuse, it’s much quieter. My breaking point came not during the worst fight. Not when I was hit or humiliated or gaslit into silence. It came…

  • Is This Even Abuse?

    Have you ever asked that question? I did. I didn’t think it was abuse unless I was being hit. For years, I told myself it wasn’t “that bad.” I believed him when he said it was my fault. That I was too sensitive. That I was imagining things. But what I was really living in…