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The Comfort Zone Isn’t Comfort — It’s Survival
My brain was never designed for happiness.It was designed for survival. That’s why I still scan rooms.Why I choose corners when I can.Why I sit with my back to the wall. It’s why I still park my car facing down the driveway, angled away from the house — ready for a quick escape. Those instincts…
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The Calm Before the Storm?
After Monday’s court, the rest of this week slipped into quietness. It’s left me wondering—is this the calm before the storm, or is this what life is supposed to feel like? I’ve done a lot of waiting. Nothing new there. But there were bright moments too. My friend celebrated one year of finally having her…
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Starting Over: Job Hunting After a Lifetime of Running My Own Businesses
I haven’t looked for a job in decades. Since I was 23, I’ve been an owner and director, building and running businesses through recessions, family crises, sleepless nights, and survival. My name is still on the paperwork. I’m still a shareholder and an executive director in several of these businesses. But after an ex-parte motion…
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The Post-Victory Crash: Why Wins Can Trigger Old Wounds— and How to Fight Back
This week, I won.I walked into court and secured something huge: permission for my daughter to travel internationally in just a few days’ time, despite my ex-husband’s refusal and my lawyer’s betrayal. The judge not only granted the emergency travel order — he also adjourned my ex’s motion for visitation with our son until all…
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Navigating Lifequakes: Rebuilding After the Shocks That Split Your World
“Sometimes in the waves of change, we find our true direction.”— Unknown 🌍Some events don’t just shake your life—they rip it wide open. Author and life transitions expert Bruce Feiler, in his book Life Is in the Transitions, coined the term “lifequakes”—profound, destabilizing events that split your life into before and after. But if you’ve…
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There Is No Compromise on Child Safety: Why I said NO
Today, I was asked to trade my son for a piece of paper. Let me be more specific: my lawyer forwarded a message suggesting I should agree to give my ex-husband—who is currently facing criminal charges for child abuse, threats of death, and threats involving bodily harm—unrestricted access to our son every other weekend. In…
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Tech Troubles, Triggers, and Taking Control: A Survivor’s Journey
When you have survived abuse – technology isn’t neutral and can cause reoccurring trauma long after the abuse itself has stopped.It’s not just phones and apps and passwords—it’s the memory of being tracked. Controlled. Hacked. Watched. Silenced. It’s the anxiety that spikes when your screen lights up at midnight. It’s the sick feeling in your…
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🕯️ “Why Can’t I Remember Everything?” – The Lingering Fog of Gaslighting
You remember the fights.The apologies.The silences that screamed louder than words. You remember the way your stomach dropped at a certain look. The way you rehearsed your sentences in your head before speaking.You remember crying alone— and then wiping your face so no one would ask questions. But when you try to piece it all…
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The Breaking Point – When Survival Becomes a Decision
People think the breaking point is loud. Dramatic. A suitcase thrown into a car, a door slammed, a final scream echoing down a hallway. But for most survivors of abuse, it’s much quieter. My breaking point came not during the worst fight. Not when I was hit or humiliated or gaslit into silence. It came…
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Is This Even Abuse?
Have you ever asked that question? I did. I didn’t think it was abuse unless I was being hit. For years, I told myself it wasn’t “that bad.” I believed him when he said it was my fault. That I was too sensitive. That I was imagining things. But what I was really living in…
