Tag: love

  • The Pause is Not the End

    Court is paused.There is a continuance. That sounds heavy. It sounds ominous. It sounds like something to fear. But strangely—unexpectedly—I am calm. I can’t share my testimony. I won’t. Not because I’m hiding anything, but because the process matters, and the court is paused, not finished. What I can share is what it feels like…

  • If I Could Love That Hard in the Wrong Place

    “To love at all is to be vulnerable.”— C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves I’ve looked back at it now—really looked.At how bad it was.At the different forms it took, the different ways it showed up. Some of the things are easy to name. You can see it when a mug smashes into the wall behind…

  • The Comfort Zone Isn’t Comfort — It’s Survival

    My brain was never designed for happiness.It was designed for survival. That’s why I still scan rooms.Why I choose corners when I can.Why I sit with my back to the wall. It’s why I still park my car facing down the driveway, angled away from the house — ready for a quick escape. Those instincts…

  • The Calm Before the Storm?

    After Monday’s court, the rest of this week slipped into quietness. It’s left me wondering—is this the calm before the storm, or is this what life is supposed to feel like? I’ve done a lot of waiting. Nothing new there. But there were bright moments too. My friend celebrated one year of finally having her…

  • One Battle Won – The War Rages On

    Before: Walking Into Hell — After: Truth, Laughter, and a Mic Drop The Docket Tells the Truth – Before Today was another reminder of how broken and disconnected the system can be. This morning, there was still no online confirmation that my emergency motion was before the court. Nothing on the portal. Nothing my lawyer…

  • Strap In and Buckle Up: I Am on the Rollercoaster of Law

     A relentless ride of injustice and abuse — and there’s no way off. It has been a week. I was served with an “emergency” motion in family court with only three days’ notice. To make it worse, it was filed in such a way that my lawyer had just ten minutes to respond if…

  • When the Court System Finally Tilted My Way – for once.

    It has been a week. I was served with an “emergency” motion in family court with only three days’ notice. To make it worse, it was filed in such a way that my lawyer had just ten minutes to respond if we wanted even the chance of an adjournment. We scrambled and filed in eighteen…

  • One Hour for a Lifetime of Security

    How making my will gave me peace of mind and protection for my kids Today, I checked off one of the biggest items on my bucket list: I made my will. This isn’t about giving up, and it isn’t about dark thoughts. (I know I wrote recently about suicidal thoughts, but this is not that.)…

  • I Don’t Want to Play Anymore

    TRIGGER WARNING – This post discusses depression, intrusive suicidal thoughts, parenting conflict, perimenopause, and legal struggles. Please take care reading — and see the resources at the end. There’s a phrase that’s been running through my head lately: I don’t want to play anymore. It sounds childish, maybe even selfish. But in truth, it feels…

  • Starting Over: Job Hunting After a Lifetime of Running My Own Businesses

    I haven’t looked for a job in decades. Since I was 23, I’ve been an owner and director, building and running businesses through recessions, family crises, sleepless nights, and survival. My name is still on the paperwork. I’m still a shareholder and an executive director in several of these businesses. But after an ex-parte motion…